Rehabitus: Empowering Personal Growth In Life After Addiction.
There's an ancient proverb that echoes in my thoughts almost daily - a guiding mantra from my days of rigorous training in martial arts, now a cornerstone of my stoic mindset and daily routine in sobriety:
It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.
This proverb illustrates the importance of mastering the skills of battle while choosing to live peacefully. In the same stroke, it warns against the complacency of living peacefully without any preparation for hard times. Unpreparedness is a vulnerability.
In other words, it is better to be strong and never need that strength than to be weak and find yourself desperately in need of it.
In life, especially after addiction, challenges can pop up unexpectedly, often when it’s least convenient. This proverb is a reminder that staying prepared is crucial. It teaches us that having strength and resilience can help us face these challenges head-on.
We can choose to start building that strength long before it is needed.
A Space For Growth
I think of the garden as my quality world. It represents a tranquil space anchored in sobriety. It is the state of peace, the healthy patterns of behaviour, and the continuous opportunities for growth. It represents the ability to pursue what I want in life and the skills I can learn along the way. But it is not a comfort zone. It is the place where I actively grow, which involves some incremental changes. I get to be here as my new normal. I have fought hard to reach this point, and yet I don’t settle or become complacent. I recognise the need to remain prepared and vigilant to maintain this space. It may not be the greatest garden, but it is mine to nurture and protect.
A Warrior Cultivates Readiness
Warriors keep their swords sharp and practice their routines. They understand the importance of cultivating strength and vigilance, preparing proactively to face any challenges that may arise in their journey, rather than being caught out by the unexpected.
“We do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training.” - Archilochus
Resilience
Just as a warrior trains for battle, individuals new to sobriety must equip themselves with tools to handle potential triggers and stress. This involves identifying personal triggers, learning stress management techniques, and developing strategies to cope with challenges without succumbing to former destructive habits.
Discipline
Discipline is the backbone of a warrior's strength and effectiveness. For us, discipline translates into adhering to a structured routine that supports wellbeing. This might include a regular schedule for meetings, scheduling time for exercise, or the commitment to pursuing passions. Discipline means consistently choosing actions that align with long-term well-being over immediate but harmful gratifications. Read more about discipline here:
Bravery
Bravery for a warrior involves facing battles head-on, regardless of fear. In the realm of new sobriety, it may represent the courage required to confront and reframe painful emotions or memories that may have contributed to addiction. It could also mean being open about one’s struggles with addiction, seeking help, and sometimes making difficult decisions or letting go of relationships that hinder personal growth. Our hidden enemy within may be our comfort zone. It’s important not to settle for less, even if we are admirably maintaining sobriety.
Strength
Physical health is crucial in maintaining our optimal capabilities. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest are key to remaining alert and focused. By prioritising our physical well-being, we also boost our mental health, creating a positive cycle that enhances our resilience and mental clarity.
Self-Restraint
Self-restraint may involve the ongoing mastery of impulses that might still lurk from our history. Moving forward, self-restraint may also mean wisely choosing our battles. Not every challenge deserves our attention. Knowing when to engage and when to step aside helps preserve our peace and directs our energy toward growth and well-being. A fighter may know how to fight, but a warrior knows when.
Camaraderie
Warriors rely on their comrades. Similarly, forging strong, supportive relationships is crucial. Whether formed through community groups, family, or friendships, these networks provide encouragement and accountability, which are essential components of a meaningful life. Belonging to a community can act as a safety net or a pillar of strength, offering support through challenges and celebrating achievements.
The Garden Is A Place Of Peace
The garden is the place of peace we choose in our minds, and where possible, in our physical surroundings. It reflects our deliberate choices about the environment we cultivate and the people we welcome into our lives. Whilst we have prepared for potential challenges, we take steps to keep them from entering our space.
But the garden isn’t about inaction. The safety and beauty of the garden require cultivation, daily habits, and the wisdom gained from experience about what works and what doesn't. We nourish the right seeds to bear good fruit in the future.
We also accept that there are summers and winters. Winter seasons in our lives are inevitable, yet with foresight and preparation, they can be managed. This understanding allows us to maintain resilience during tough times, knowing that these periods are temporary and cyclical.
Self-Discovery and Growth
Sobriety opens the door to self-discovery. When we are removed from the turmoil of addiction, we have opportunities to find new hobbies, passions, and paths that were previously obscured by addiction. Engaging in new activities or reigniting old passions can lead to significant personal growth and a sense of purpose.
Self-Care
The garden, a sanctuary we have meticulously created to be both safe and serene, symbolises the self-care practices essential to our well-being and ongoing personal development. In this tranquil environment, we find the ideal space to focus deeply on our well-being, so over time we can improve how much we commit to our growth activities.
Mindfulness and Reflection
Maintaining a garden requires patience, care, and attention. Similarly, mindfulness and reflection are crucial in sobriety. They foster a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s emotions, aiding in managing stress and avoiding relapse.
By dedicating moments to journaling, we reflect on our progress and challenges, like taking notes on changes in the landscape to better cater to the garden's needs. These practices collectively create a foundation for our ongoing well-being and personal growth. Read about the importance of journaling here:
The Dual Role
As we can see, if a gardener were suddenly called to war, they would likely be underprepared and vulnerable.
By adopting our dual role of a warrior and a gardener, we strive to build a resilient foundation for a quality life enriched with personal growth and peace.
In the tranquil space of the garden, the prepared warrior thrives.
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